NFL Power Rankings: Week Sixteen

While Week 15 was a wild week of football which featured tons of things I never thought I’d see, one thing that happened in the world of football this week that did not really surprise me however, were the allegations of sexual harassment and misconduct against Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson by no less than four former employees. I won’t get into the gory details, but safe to say Jerry’s a fuckin’ creep and should be ashamed of himself. And of course there was an allegation of Richardson using a racial slur in reference to an African-American Panthers scout, ’cause of course the owner of a team that’s 60-70% black would say some shit like that. Most of the NFL owners are old white men that thrived in a time when people like them could get away with damn near anything they wanted. Evidently that time is past, as one of the most respected voices among NFL owners (hopefully not anymore) and all the hush money in the world weren’t enough to insulate Richardson. The old creep will sell the team at the end of the season because of the allegations, a smart move but not really a punishment when you consider how much more money NFL owners make from the sale of their team compared to the day-to-day operations. Either way, it will no doubt be refreshing to rid the league of scum like Jerry. Wouldn’t it be awesome if Puffy really came through and bought that team too? Every free agent would be dying to play in Carolina.

Shit’s wild mate.

But anyway, on to this week’s shocking onslaught of performances and results. As you can see in the diagram above, some weird shit went down in Week 15. The Rams absolutely slapped the Seahawks, the Pats won on a questionable call (i guess not that surprising), CBS’ good ol’ James Brown is tweeting PornHub links that left us all with a pretty disgusting mental image, the Jags are in the playoffs, Bills Mafia continues to be the best fanbase in football—if not the most belligerent and refs are out here using pieces of paper to measure first downs. Fuckin’ paper. And my man Gene Steratore STILL got it wrong. Goddamn. If you want something done right with paper, there’s a little place in Western Pennsylvania that can hook you up Gene. Just go and ask for Michael Scott. You’re welcome. Oh, and the Browns still haven’t won a game. Cheers to Cleveland, go Cavs !

1. New England Patriots (11-3) (–) — 

27-24 over steelers, host bills

2. Minnesota Vikings (11-3) (–) — 

34-7 over bengals, @ packers sat

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-3) (–) — 

27-24 to NE, @ hou monday aft

4. Philadelphia Eagles (12-2) (–) — 

34-29 win over nyg, host raiders

5. Los Angeles Rams (10-4) (–) — 

42-7 over sea, @ ten

6. New Orleans Saints (10-4) (–) — 

31-19 over jets, host atl

7. Carolina Panthers (10-4) (▲1) — 

31-24 over gb, host bucs

8. Jacksonville Jaguars (10-4) (▲1) — 

45-7 over hou, @ niners

9. Atlanta Falcons (9-5) (▲1— 

24-21 over bucs, @ saints

10. Seattle Seahawks (8-6) (▼3) — 

42-7 to rams, @ dal

11. Kansas City Chiefs (8-6) (▲5) — 

30-13 over lac, host mia

12. Dallas Cowboys (8-6) (▲3— 

20-17 over raiders, host sea

13. Baltimore Ravens (8-6) (–) — 

27-10 over cle, host ind sat

14. Detroit Lions (8-6) (–) — 

20-10 over bears, @ cincy

15. Los Angeles Chargers (7-7) (▼4) — 

30-13 to kc, @ jets

16. Buffalo Bills (8-6) (▲4)  — 

24-16 over mia, @ ne

17. Tennessee Titans (8-6) (▼5— 

25-23 to niners, host rams

18. D.C. Football Team (6-8) (–) — 

20-15 over cardinals, host den

19. Green Bay Packers (7-7) (▼2) —  

31-24 to car, host min sat

20. Oakland Raiders (6-8) (▼1) — 

20-17 to dal, @ phi MNF

21. Miami Dolphins (6-8) (▲3) — 

24-16 to bills, @ kc

22. New York Jets (5-9) (▼1) — 

31-19 to NO, host lac

23. San Francisco 49ers (4-10) (▲3) — 

25-23 over ten, host jags

24. Cincinnati Bengals (5-9) (▼2) — 

34-7 to min, host det

25. Denver Broncos (5-9) (▲3) — 

25-13 over ind TNF, @ was

26. Arizona Cardinals (6-8) (▼1) — 

20-15 to was, host nyg

27. Houston Texans (4-10) (▼4) —  

45-7 to jax, host pit Mon aft

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-10) (▼1) — 

24-21 to atl, @ car

29. Chicago Bears (4-10) (–) — 

20-10 to det, host cle

30. Indianapolis Colts (3-11) (–) — 

25-13 to den, @ ravens sat

31. New York Giants (2-12) (–) — 

34-29 to phi, @ cards

32. Cleveland Browns (0-14) (–) — 

27-10 to bal, @ chi

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