I know what you’re thinking: he’s taking a lot of away teams this week. It did make me do a double take as well, but with some of these spreads, it was just too hard to resist: the Jets are back down to a single digit spread this week ! I went 4/5 in Week 2 so I’ll try to keep the good times rollin’ for me and for all of you who put your faith in this schmuck’s football knowledge.
Baltimore Ravens (2-0) (-4.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) on Sunday @ 930am in London, UK — Though the Ravens have had it pretty easy through the first couple of weeks this season, I still believe their 2-0 record should’ve merited a larger spread against the team for which Blake Bortles attempts to play quarterback. The Ravens defence is much improved and has forced 10 turnovers in two games, far more than any other defence in the league. And who’s more susceptible to turnovers than Bortles? The Ravens offence will do enough, but don’t be surprised if the Ravens defence scores a touchdown across the pond this week too. Baltimore Ravens 27 Jacksonville Jaguars 17
Denver Broncos (2-0) (-4.0) @ Buffalo Bills (1-1) on Sunday @ 1pm — Even after the Broncos gave Dak, Zeke and the young Cowboys the beatdown of their lives last week, the spread makers are still giving the Bills only four points. I guess they don’t believe in Trev, but they should. If there’s a sure thing this weekend, this is it. CJ Anderson and the running game are moving at full fucking go, Trevor Siemian is looking like a damn maestro in the pocket, and the defence is still on some next level shit. T-Mobile is going to be sacked at least four times and will commit at least a couple of turnovers. Expect a blowout in Buffalo. Denver Broncos 30 Buffalo Bills 13
Miami Dolphins (1-0) (-7.0) @ New York Jets (0-2) on Sunday @ 1pm — Last week the point spread for the Raiders against the Jets was just too ridiculous for me to take—and the Raiders still covered. This week the spread is back down to something reasonable for the Jets’ opponents. The Dolphins looked good in Week 2 in beating the underachieving Chargers (who could be 2-0 if it weren’t for subpar kicking). Smokin’ Jay Cutler is looking good in the Miami offence as he showed good chemistry with both Jarvis Landry in the heart of the field and Devante Parker down the field. Not to mention Jay Ajayi had 120+ yards on the ground. This offence is gonna go off on the Jets sorry defence. And don’t expect Josh McCown to be able to keep up with Smokin’ Jay and the boys either. Miami Dolphins 33 New York Jets 17
Cincinnati Bengals (0-2) @ Green Bay Packers (1-1) (-9.5) on Sunday @ 415pm — Though the Packers didn’t look great in a disappointing loss to the Falcons, both Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb (who both left that game against the Falcons with injuries) didn’t play much in that game. Nelson should be back this week to help Aaron Rodgers with the air attack. But even so, Rodgers still has Davante Adams, Ty Montgomery and Martellus Bennett to look to for help. And he’s Aaron Rodgers, I think he can outduel Andy Dalton‘s broke ass AT home in Lambeau Stadium. Dalton might last past this week considering the Packers lacklustre defence—and the fact that Packers no. 1 backfield disrupter Mike Daniels is out—but don’t expect him to last much longer past that. The Packers will win a high-scoring affair. Green Bay Packers 41 Cincinnati Bengals 27
Dallas Cowboys (1-1) (-3.5) @ Arizona Cardinals (1-1) on Monday @ 830pm — The Cowboys suffered one of their worst losses in recent memory last week at Mile High in Denver, and you better believe it hasn’t been sitting well with them since then. I predict the Cowboys will come out angry and re-establish Ezekiel Elliott on the ground. They’ll pummel their way to an early lead, and they won’t look back. Carson Palmer (who’s already thrown four INTs) and the Cardinals needed extra time to beat the Luck-less Colts, so this is almost the perfect team to play after you were beaten as soundly as the Cowboys were beaten last week. Neither team has a great defence, so expect Arizona to find pay-dirt a couple times—just a lot less often than Dak Prescott and the ‘Boys will. Dallas Cowboys 27-17